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HumorTo save taxpayers money let's move the congressional buildings in Washington D.C. and all of Washington D.C. to Juarez Mexico. Why, well because in Mexico drugs will now be legal and we will not have to arrest the mayor of Washington D.C. on drug charges. The illegal use of prescription medication is also not a problem and this will be good for the Kennedy boy from Connecticut. Beginning fights with local federalees in Mexico will not be a problem either and we will not have to worry...
Attention international terrorists we know that most of you are closet homosexuals and we also would like you to know that most CIA from the United States of America are easy to spot because they are homosexuals to. So if you are screwing an American then there is a good chance they work for the CIA and are following you very closely.How close you ask? Well, they are inside your pants aren't they? This is how you can tell if the American that you have captured is with the CIA. Most of...
Why is it that we have so many rules and regulations for every single industry in the United States of America? We attack our business community each and every day and we make rules and regulations that lawyers use in extortion tactics to sue American companies. We need to reduce the rules and regulations in our nation for our business communities and we need to put more rules and regulations on the lawyers, which I believe to be professional parasites and terrorists against the American...
Everyone is well aware of the problems with too many laws and lawyers in our nation. Business people often joke in the boardrooms of American Corporations, asking their lawyers if it is okay for them to use the restroom. Indeed many small business people complain about the very same thing these days.What is worse is that our own government is filled with these scoundrels and many of them hold some very high offices. Many believe the problem in America is due to all the lawyers out there...
I've listen to hours of Air America, News Talk, and NPR. I have watched enough CSPAN, CNN, Reality TV and Food Channel to make my eyeballs pop out of their sockets and dance contently about the coffee table top. I have conversed with many, closely listening to their thoughts, many a time drifting off to think how death could not come to me soon enough. I have explored the far reaches of the
Critics cheered the publication of a conditionally new book, The American Home Front, penned by Alistair Cooke, most widely known as the host of Masterpiece Theater but earlier on an innovative British journalist.
The tome, written in the early 1940s, provides a portrait of America gearing up for World War II, which none too few consider the last war the country entered that the populace felt generally right about.
We must admit it's reassuring to see that there was actually a time in...
In a startling announcement, President Vicente Fox of Mexico revealed that his nation has solved its immigration problem with the U. S. by requesting annexation as a province of China. As a result of its new status, a plentitude of domestic jobs will be available.
He made the surprise announcement, not during his recent visit to America, but immediately upon returning to Mexico.
Mexicans by the millions cheered the decision, throwing fiestas nationwide, with shouts of "Viva Mexico!" "Viva...
An American avant garde composer, who takes his inspiration from the most upstart composers of recent times, had a piece performed last night at Carnegie Hall, titled "Making Popcorn."
The Boston Pops Orchestra, which commissioned the piece, left the stage to make way for the performance.
Stagehands then wheeled out a popcorn-making machine and prepared it for the performance by filling it with dry corn, butter, and salt.
When the machine was "tuned," the composer entered to conduct...
When Chuck Norris does a push up, instead of pushing himself up, he pushes the world down
There are no steroids in baseball... only people Chuck Norris has breathed on
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb
Chuck Norris once shot down a German Fighter plane by pointing at it with his finger and shouting "Bang!"
Chuck Norris does not churn butter... he simply roundhouse kicks the cow, and the butter comes straight...
Many people want to see Moussaoui sent to the death chamber for his assistance to the 911 team, including Moussaoui himself so he can die as a great martyr for Allah? Some are now confused should we have him rot for the rest of his life in prison or go for capital punishment. Some liberals are still saying imprisoning Muslims or killing them will not help the US win the hearts and minds of the people. Interesting? Okay here is that thought taken to its ends;We must pray for them and spare...
Many are upset that Iran is getting nuclear weapons, as this is dangerous to the world. Yet do you realize some people are actually for this. They actually believe if Iran has nuclear weapons that it will help them and help balance the region? In debating this online with a Muslim who moved to Canada who continually slandered my name, it seemed to be no use in helping him understand why Iran should not be allowed to have nuclear weapons. So I told him;You are so right, I am so stupid, ignorant,...
Writing software, once a form of individual proclivity, is about to be, at least in its most common functions, daringly standardized.
The innovative initiative has been dubbed "A Uniform Standard For Dumb Simple Tasks."
While the group that has put forward the radical suggestion has no way of enforcing it, widespread adoption is expected, because there is an emerging sentiment in the software industry that the consumer has been driven bats long enough by small and totally unnecessary...
Pink on the outside and shiny white on the inside, the little olive-shaped radishes glistened in the bowl that the laoban's (boss's) wife placed before me. I dithered for a moment before I picked one and placed it gingerly into my mouth.Radishes have always brought back bad memories and for years I haven't touched anything that included them. I mean, I wouldn't touch any food that had the faintest hint of radish.I must have been ten and I was on a train with my younger brother and sister...
What is it with all the cats in the winter? Do they forget how to catch mice? They are so round and fat they look like they are going to explode, yet when you put food in front of them they eat as if they were starving. Sort of like my mother-in-law. Wait! Scratch that. Never mind. Don't. What are the chances she'll read anything I wrote? My sister-in-law can tell her.We're having a heat wave. It warmed up to 33 degrees. The icicles started melting and falling off of the house....
Beware of George Bush, a suspected terrorist. For years now, George Bush has been attempting to instill fear into his fellow Americans. He's interfered with two free Democratic elections, and concerns are rising that America's Democracy is rapidly thinning. While spreading Democracy to other nations, George Bush has used up some American Democracy; soon there won't be any left for the United States. Many American constituents think that he should be spreading peanut butter or jelly overseas,...
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